Happy 31st Birthday to myself

This blog entry is more for journal purposes...don't feel that you must read it. In the end, I turned 31 this last Sunday...thought I would write some of my feelings about getting old. :)

Getting older...to be honest is just not that big of a deal to me right now. I think some day...like in my 70's when things start aching more it may bother me, but for now it is cool. I am such a "picture" person. When I say that I mean I see myself, my future and my past visually. I really do imagine it and quite vividly at that. When I was young I would picture myself older. Mostly I thought of how my life would be when I was 16...and then didn't picture much past that. Well 16 came and went in all it's glory and I started to picture myself married, with kids, where I would live, what kind of mother I would be etc.

Honestly, most of those pictures have come to pass. I imagined myself always living in Idaho, so the location has changed. With that I don't have the family around that I always imagined spending time with. However, I did imagine living in my home with a wonderful man...that hasn't changed. Jake is all I could have imagined for myself. Some of the things that weren't "just as planned" in my spouse have either gotten better with time or ceased to be important. I have also found inlaws that are far above and beyond what I ever hoped to have. Who really likes their mother law? Well I do!

No one can really imagine children, but mine are wonderful and surpass dreams. Their smiles light up any room.

Then there is me. What did I imagine and visualize for myself...well, Happiness, Peace, Laughter, Being Cute :) In most ways I am happy with who I have become. I like myself and I am finding that isn't always easy for people to do...so I am lucky that way. In the last 2 years I have set a lot of goals about losing weight and other spiritual goals like scripture study and such... I can honestly say that I have learned a lot about myself and I feel that I have made a lot of progress. Setting and achieving goals has become something that I need and crave to stay sane.

This year I am going to try to make Temple attendance more of a priority and keep up the other goals. I also want to focus harder on my most important job...being a mother. I always find this something that needs improvement and that has probably been the hardest thing so far. I never really imagined all the work, pain, heartache and just plain frustration that has come with colic, loss, potty training, fights, discipline, sleep issues, the list goes on. For someone as "yellow" as myself, motherhood was and is a lot more work than I ever dreamed. I do love being a mom. I love these kids so much and find that each one brings so much to our family. I hope by next year I will feel a little better off in the "mom" department. I want to yell less, discipline more...(I don't follow through) and just encourage these precious Spirits to be and achieve all that is possible. I certainly was raised to believe in myself and that has made a huge impact on who I am today as well as my level of happiness.

So there are a few scattered thoughts about turning 31!

It does look old on the cake huh!? LOL My awesome friends Jen and Julie threw me a surprise party. I really was surprised and had a whole lot of fun! Thanks guys.

Surprise Party

Love of my life!!

The night before Jake took me and our friends to Pizza and a movie: Sherlock Holmes. We rarely see movies so it was a special treat.

Playing cards with Tracy and Mark. Fun friends!!! LOTS of personality (inside joke I guess)!!!!