Too Sad...

So those of you who are living here in Maricopa and those who are close to me...I guess you know that I am having a hard time with our new baby. However, many may not know, so here is my vent. It is 11:27 pm and I am letting a sweet little 5 week old boy "cry it out" in his crib. I really don't know what else to do. He has been awake since 5:15pm and only slept on and off in my arms for a few minutes at a time. He has cried lots and it just breaks my heart. Spencer is just so colicky. He burbs like 20 times, instead of once or twice. He wakes up screaming with gas. We have really tried everything...and I just don't know what more to do. Please don't post with advice. Not that I don't need it, but being told to take him in the car or playing white noise just comes across condesending after we have already had 2 colicky babies before. We swaddle, give gas drops, I watched what I ate, then switched him to a special formula. We have tried medication for reflux and the list goes on. I guess I am just writing this, so if you see me you can know what our whole family is going through. Have a prayer in your heart for our family, but mostly for Spencer. I believe he is the sweetest little boy and it breaks my heart to see him suffer. This too shall pass, but I am sad that we are all wishing away this time. I am sad that I can't let my kids hold him, unless it is minutes after a bottle. I am sad that he only seems happy about 3 to 4 hours after he eats, then I have to feed him and start the cycle over again. I am so grateful for my mother who gives me great perspective and a husband who is doing his best to help with our other 2 kids. I am grateful for good friends who let me cry and complaing and well, I can't stand to hear him cry anymore, so I will be off. Wish me luck.